THE AUTHENTIC MASSACRE OF PAIGE MONROE
Welcome to The Monastery. As I write to you in my first SOURCE bLOG, I want to thank you for taking your precious time to be with me. In an age where our brains and heart are ever infiltrated by technology, distraction and destruction; I can honestly say that it means the absolute world to me that you have chosen to be here right now.
The past couple years have been quite the experience. Recovering from life itself and all the mistakes I made along the way. I am now at a sobering point in my life, 3 years this year to be exact. Sobering in every way, even my dreams have become reality.
Since going after my goals in a very different mindset and practicality, I have encountered rapid change and evolution, creating my favourite work to date whilst having increased reach with an audience I truly connect with.
During 2025 I was fortunate enough to be chosen to receive an opportunity from Arts Council England to develop my practice further by learning how to produce music, enhance my visuals and evolve in multiple ways as a multidisciplinary Artist. I always use a capital A for Artist. The development period changed my life in many ways, not only did my work go through its metamorphosis, but so did I. As every step I took unlocked another level of discovery, ambition, opportunity, connection and Monastery member.
My video pieced ‘INCUBATION’ expresses the painful feeling of growth, evolution and re-birth. The torture I felt as I shed skin that was no longer mine. And I mean that, it literally feels like torture when you face the worst parts of yourself and change them. Your ego gripping on for dear life, screaming bloody murder, clutching at the dregs of what you used to be as they don’t know anything else yet. While the new version of you is developing in the blood of the death, suffering with growing pains that stretch your bones out like chewing gum, only to be spat out if it does not fit the world you are building. Alas, this is being human. At this time, I was writing and preparing to release, but filled with the hunger of still wanting to release something I hadn’t built yet. It was infuriating. But using visuals to explore and express my emotions has been part of my craft that I have really latched onto, now I can’t see my vision without it. My love for creative direction and editing has been ever increasing, so much so that I am currently involved in a side quest with the Women’s collective I founded, The Temple of Venus. This side quest is me producing a documentary/film of local Women’s history in my town. Each frame exactly as I envisioned in my head, every time I have opened the editor programme I am reminded of how much I love creativity. I am even composing the entire score…a side quest nonetheless, it has unlocked another part of my Artistry.
At the start of 2026 I released ‘The Interlude’, my first instrumental track. It was also the first track I had ever produced solo during my development period with Arts Council, so it felt aligned to have it as my first release as part of my next era. I love the journey that an instrumental can take you on, it doesn’t follow as strict a structure as pop music. I am still learning my sound and how to express it, I consider myself quite experimental and not the best with timing, in real life or in my creativity. But I’m learning. My creative ideas can be quite chaotic; I’m also learning when and where that chaos works…in real life and in my creativity.
‘The Interlude’ is a bridge between my old world and new. It honours the perseverance, behind-the-scenes and the magic behind the curtain. Before this, my last release was a song called ‘angel’. This song I wrote back in 2019, before everything got tipped upside down. I was just starting out in my independent era of ‘Paige Monroe’, returning to music after a contract finished… (I’ll get to that another time…)
I started developing my sound and wrote a collection of songs, all of which I was ready and raring to go. Life fucked up, I fucked up, I got fucked up and so did the world. Thus, a halt in my releases until 2022 where I released a cult classic ‘IT GIRL’. That was a whole era, she was messy but people loved the mess. People love seeing destruction in live time, but not the right people. Not the people who actually care about your work, creativity, music or soul.
Time moved on, healing began and I started to release the back catalogue of songs I had created with my long-time collaborator Producer…and now partner. To be honest, I just wanted to get through the rollout as quick as possible, while I know it’s awful to wish time away and I always catch myself if I’m doing that waiting for the next, but I had outgrown this music and the version of myself who wrote it.
However, it was an amazing opportunity to get hold of my vision and hone in on my world building, trial and error. I went through this crazy metamorphism via my old music – and new visuals. The 2 different worlds, perspectives, experiences forming 1 together. I couldn’t relate to my old world anymore; I had more depth and life experience. Funny, as I knew this would happen. Sure, we all do. But at the start of the writing in 2018/2019 I said for ‘IT GIRL’ to be the front cover of a book and as the pa(i)ges turn, the story evolves and I share my emotions. But I had planned to release this work back then, not after I had majorly evolved. It was a struggle, but all struggles are an inspiration for creativity.
Just prior and during the IT GIRL era I was bleach blonde and I only wore pink. I let the hair grow out after a while and go back to my more natural tone and began dressing more freely to how I felt. When I returned to music, I wasn’t quite ready to let the blonde Bitch go…enter ‘Who Is This Bitch’ and my Season of the Wigs. Slowly with each release, I separated myself from the wigs/look I had crafted in my earlier years and got more in touch with ME. Don’t get me wrong, a wig may be used every now and then but I feel like I am myself now within my Art rather than having to put a wig on like Hannah Montana. I am Paige Monroe 247.
Since this time, I write constantly, ideas always pouring in and out, good or bad; or fucking brilliant. The year was quite something outside of my creativity with the beginning of my healing journey, which like I explained to you earlier, was painful. You would think the pain stops when you start healing but, in a way, it almost feels worse. The scab is excruciatingly sore to touch, opens and bleeds out any time its slightly bumped into a table, having to re-scab all over again. The bruising is dark purple and yellow, full hematoma. You can’t walk properly on it, you can’t be you properly because the ‘you’ doesn’t know who ‘you’ it, just that it’s not…that.
With all this in mind, I still never lose sight of my vision and goals, I’m not sure I could if I tried. It’s burned into me, which in itself can be suffocating. After a year of not releasing music during the development period I have returned. Evolved. I am strong with clarity. ‘Bleed Me’ is out on the 15th of May and she explores exactly that. ‘Cut me up, open, see what I’m made of’. Dreams we have since we are children, never wanting to let that version of you down. Promising yourself you’ll make it no matter what. Imagine informing that innocent version of you that you didn’t try, that you didn’t die by the sword. I’ll be dammed.
I feel more present than I ever have, more driven than I ever was. Welcome to The Monastery.
I would like to personally thank all my collaborators for believing in my vision and striving to help me deliver my message, experiences and love into the world. I also would like to thank core members of The Monastery, my Monami’s, for discovering me, believing in me during my development period, being patient with my growth, ENDLESSLY supporting me via messages, conversation, shares, comments, saves, reposts etc. The honour and love I feel that my work has connected with you enough for you to be emotionally invested and supporting me, is something like no other. I am beyond lucky and grateful.
This first SOURCE bLOG post is dedicated to Rohan, Leanne, Jack P, Norcika, KK Blue Eyes, Lara, Keirz, Venetia, Willow and her friends, Mia, Sophie P, SYM1, MisterrChar (honourable mention – thank you for the support in crazy times and instant belief) , to my dear close friends that I consider sisters, my family, my trusted team of amazing creative collaborators, Pim (another honourable mention, from day1 of the independent days!!) Alia, Vicki, Riah, Annelies, those at Nettl, the Women and Girls of The Temple of Venus, Arts Council England, Quay West Studios and most all my Partner in life and music, Nick Bowen. Without him I wouldn’t be here today. Thank you for all the love, support and mentoring over the years. You are everything to me. I love you.